So my blog before was centered around a love of mine: movies. I haven’t written in over a year, but I have been inspired by recent events. I transition to my biggest love on this planet, my wife.
My wife has been diagnosed with endometriosis. If you know as much about this disease as I did before it became part of my life, then you don’t know jack. I won’t get into the medical description, there are sites that can explain it better than I, I will get into the tangibles, because I can explain those based on what I’ve seen my wife going through.
My wife has had signs of this disease since she came into puberty. I’m sure many women have symptoms such as severe cramping and back pain. They may think this is normal or that they just get hit harder once a month. Now that she is past 30 we find out that these are a result of endometriosis. Lesson learned: don’t ignore things that are out of the ordinary. If you hurt more than someone else, there is likely a reason.
Let’s move to the here & now. First I’ll talk physically. My wife is in constant pain. I no longer have to ask if she is hurting, I inquire to what degree she is hurting. She has many analogies she uses to describe the pain she feels. One of the most common is that it feels like someone is squeezing her uterus in a vise. I say again, that’s one of the most common ones.
Anyone who has dealt with chronic pain, anything from headaches to back problems can have some empathy, but imagine that level of pain on a full time basis, while raising 2 kids, being a soccer mom, rocking her way through nursing school, while working in 3 different ministries at church. We rarely had downtime before, now when we do, she is usually hurting from everything she had to do that day.
Then there is the fact that when you suffer from chronic pain, it makes everything you have to do that much harder. So don’t be so judgy about the fact that my kids are fast food 3 times last week or the fact that our floor needs to be mopped. Put your internal organs in a vise & see how far you get from your heating pad!!!
Then there is the mental strain she has to endure. Chronic pain does not Bring out the best in people. Not condemning my wife, but facts are facts. This robs her of energy an patience that she should be able to place elsewhere and it sucks, for her, the kids and me. She tries and fights, but we all have limits.
Here is one thing that Doctor’s don’t often talk about in regard to this horrible disease. We fought for 5 years to have our second child. We have been fighting in attempts to have a third. Because of this disease, it will be a struggle for he to conceive. We are relying on God to provide us another miracle baby. As a woman who would like nothing more than to be knocked up, it’s hard for her to face certain things. now we get that it’s all going to happen on God’s clock, not ours, but it is still frustrating. So while she I happy for her friends who are expecting, it’s hard. When she sees some dumb irresponsible teenager on TV who gets pregger just by thinking about a man, it’s hard. When she holds a friends newborn, it’s hard.
So add up the mental strain, physical toll, and the fact that there is no end in sight, it all adds up to the fact that my wife is an amazing woman. The limits of what she is able to deal with (which have not even been seen yet) are far beyond mere mortals. I love her so much and hope that we can find treatment, for the disease, the pain it causes and the mental price paid.
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